What She Told Me

The organ grinder played his tune

With funny clogs and blue balloons 

You know his song so very well

It plays on doubts, it casts its spell

The journey through the silent caves

The walls of fear, they come in waves

The painted corner, nowhere to hide 

Get out of here and hitch a ride

You see the world is not a place 

In which you coast, the past, erase

It catches up to see you rot

That’s all you have, that’s all you’ve got

The trials we face, they come and go

The scars remain with pain and blows 

You see the slipper just didn’t fit 

You climbed the ladder and then you quit

When all was faded, turned to black

In dark of night, the fears attacked 

She turned and called, “Come hold me near.”

To quell my mind, relieve my tears 

Courage comes in shapes and sizes

Did not believe, did not surmise

That she would be my stalwart queen

The lance was thrown, the victory seen

With fiercest love, put to the test 

She battled on and fought the quest 

To save me from the void inside 

She feels the grief, she sees my pride

Defending with her heart and sword 

Her stride ahead, her victory forward

She’ll never stop or claim defeat 

Don’t dare the words you can’t repeat 

And through it all, stood side by side

Her love engulfs me with every stride

Her eyes of blue, her colors shown

Inside her heart, I found my home

What she told me, what was said

She’s always present, in my dread

Then suddenly, I feel relief 

From all the suffocating grief 

There are those moments when I pray

Please God, don’t take her, let her stay

It’s not that God cannot suffice

It’s just her loss, too high a price 

But I’ll comply, it’s all His will

She plays a role I cannot fill 

My Bella queen, my glorious wife 

Instead of you, I’d give my life. 

Unbelief

Help me in my unbelief

Despair and darkness gather round

I cannot see you in my grief

Your glory light cannot be found

Across the waters come the doubts

I’ll never be the same again

With pangs of fear and troubled shouts

In Your resolve, I say amen

Hoist the sail, Lord, sinking fast

Nowhere to hide, nowhere to go

You’re my rudder and my mast

The tides of doubt are to and fro

It’s cold and dreary, catch a glimpse

Distance embers of Your light

Pain engulfs me as I wince

Fog is rising in my fright

Help me in my unbelief 

My faith is waning in my tears

Lord, I need You, need relief

Relieve my hunger and my fears

Your path to victory unspoiled 

You take my hand to guide me home

With all my misery and my toils

You’re the only hope I’ve ever known

Days pass to nights and nights to days

In dead of night, my dread, awake

To have belief and trust Your ways

My prayer to You in rest, I make

Forgive me, Lord, I’m tired and weak

There’s no excuse to doubt in vain 

Sometimes this fear, can’t hardly speak

You see my anger, see my pain 

Belief in You, my only hope

There’s only One I can rely

You help me live, You help me cope 

Without You, Lord, could not survive

Thank you for Your love and grace 

Kindness, joy, Your love and peace

In trusting You, I can replace 

Belief in You, my fear, released

Undone

To peel back the onion

Until nothing’s left to hide

Vulnerable or intransigent

To rebel or to abide

Hey, please help me Lord 

I don’t know how to see

What do You ask, what do You want

It’s not Your fault, it’s me

I’m so afraid, cannot breathe

Paralyzed and deprived

Teach me trust, belief in You

Need guidance, be revived

I’m so very broken

Don’t know right from wrong 

Through Your grace, know my place

Undone, I don’t belong

Light Your kingdom come

The darkness, thus, prevails 

My sickness rots, it hangs on me

Please help me, lift my veil

Tell me to be steadfast

Don’t wish to pull away

Yet, fear, anxiety, steals my joy

To read more, and to pray 

Where do I go to find 

To scream, rejoice, align

I’m looking for my righteous voice

To join my will to Thine

Lead me to Your glory

The cross is where You’ve shown

Your love and Your compassion

In tears of joy and love, I’ve grown

I pray in adoration 

In understanding truth 

Believing it’s a Person

Wisdom, whether elderly or youth

Find Your place in my heart

Give me the strength to know

In my mind and in my soul 

To feel Your love and feel Your glow

The Forest

Waves, more waves of pain subsist
Persistent suffering in gloomy mist
Why then, O God, worthy, I thought
Instead of peace, in fear I rot

No where to go, no where to hide
I can’t explain this great divide
Curse Satan’s grip, I cannot sleep
Staring at the ceiling my darkness creeps

Blissfully happy, or so it seemed
So filled with futures, filled with dreams
My God had blessed me, all fun, no cares
I didn’t push it, I didn’t care

But then it happened, a silent pause
Unknown worries, the deadly cause
And climbed the hill, to work I went
Looked left and right, death reached and bent

Those family’s lives, their loved one laid
Despite their tears, they’re all afraid
So, who is next, Lord, what do I say
To all those faces, how to convey

I’m too affected, depressed and frantic
Anxiety stricken, tired and panicked
Please help me, Lord, to do my best
Trials and temptations, put to the test

How to distinguish, how to discern
Long to be closer, longing to yearn
Please show me the lesson I’ll never forget
I’m trying to be humble, not cast in regret

I cling to your coattails, where else would I go
Please show me the path, Lord, soften the blow
The trees with their thick leaves, I just cannot see
I beg that there’s guidance from You, is my plea

You see, I am rotten, from inside and out
Drowning in worry, no trust that I’ve got
It isn’t Your fault, see, I’m withered and worn
The sins of despair have me shattered and torn

And just when I thought, saw a glimmering light
I was pulled and was dragged back to shivering fright
So, once again, praying, Lord, there must be relief
I need to be rested in You, in belief

That You are the Christ, You care about me
And that’s why You came, to hang on that tree
To take away burden, to lighten my load
Forgiving my sin and paving my road

To Your glory kingdom, forever an heir
You took away pain, what I couldn’t bear
So gentle and lowly, You showed me the way
The way to the truth in perfect display

I’m cold and I’m hot, Lord, with plentiful needs
I’m hungry, I hunger, no faith left to feed
And from my abyss, to Your safety I turn
To Your loving arms, Lord, with singes and burns

So, down to my knees, in reverence I come
To bring praise and glory to the Heavenly One
And in all my sufferings, what have I most learned
The world is so empty, it’s to You that I turn

Babel

Confounded desolation
Perched in vast and gilded prisons
Of despair and isolation
Once was thought so very dear

Sanctuary bastions
That we pace from here to there
Like dangling participles
Mindless journeys all awhile

Who’s to say in quiet misery
Betrothed and so besmirched
That our puny lives in travesty
The airless one doth linger

Danger, danger, hard to breathe
In resounding desperation
What happened to our sordid fate
The world turned off its axis

If color didn’t matter
Still, this putrid stench awaits
We cannot taste, no sense of smell
Derision so replete

Carnage came in twisted fate
The truth was set ablaze
Revolting masses dared, proclaimed
Their victories didn’t matter

Microscopic tragedy
It circled near and far
Science with its lofty goals
Beaten, philanthropic

This tower that is held, esteemed
Limitless ploys adjourned
The mask of fate had played its card
There’s no reason and no time

As if the world be mad enough
Hate, at beck and call
What did we gain, we did we learn
There’s no one left to blame

The rush to judgment, it won’t take long
Let’s vaccinate them all
Like cattle, wait, they’ll populate
Let’s trust forevermore.

We’ll reach the heavens, we are gods
Salvation comes in bottles
Come see the dying, sinking quickly
Those helpers, thanks for trying

Lessons lost and lessons learned
Our fate in God dispersed
This plague which decimated us
The fear of death still looms

Shout for freedom, like muzzled ox
The flag of liberty displayed
“Let’s burn the whole thing to the ground”
And then our vengeance quelled

There’s only hope in One alone
Who paid the price for us
Reflections in this Babel built
Will never give us peace

Again, this Savior, brought His love
In humility , was shamed
And placed His love upon a cross
Be reconciled to our God

The choice is ours, let free will reign
The sovereign God awaits
In trust and faith in what we’ve built
Or trust in what He did

Father’s Day

A word, to the myriads who reflect on their truth
Was your father an angel, a drunkard, in youth 
If truth be told, on this glorious day
Would you find love or rage to display 

Some have forgotten or given a chance
To shoulder this moment, shared in advance
That dad was a coward, a monster you feared
Or said to him, miss you, so loved and endeared

For those living fathers, this day to reflect
Your children gave blessings to you in respect
Without them you’re empty, no father’s decree
It’s simple, to love them, a beautiful plea

To those earthly fathers who never were there 
Whatever your reasons, your children despaired 
Excuses were many, the burdens, your work
Pretense was your emblem, famed as a jerk

Some others are passioned, humbled in style
Never offensive, seldom beguiled
Their moniker, truthful, no lies or deceit 
Filled with compassion, love, so replete 

This day of the father, take time and return
The love of your children, the love that was earned
Before it was given, ‘twas God showed you first 
To sacrifice all, in prose and in verse

Be nailed to a cross, the Son, glorified 
His Father in Heaven, no ego or pride
The model was given when He gave His last breath 
The love to His Father was put to the test 

Then, so in thanksgiving, we come to this day
Honor thy father, the most glorious way
And to all you fathers, remembering, sighs
Your children, the answers, to all, and your whys

Broken Man

Upon the steps of pain I come
Nowhere else to go, I run
To loving arms I humbly face
With bitter cries in sad disgrace

Ashamed, this broken man I see
Who cast himself in misery
Whose clothes he draped in pride surpassed
Not looking back, the aftermath

In whom I see, in pain and tatters
The only one who ever mattered
Who spawns her love with desperate cries
Eternal love, no alibis 

Wrought with remorse, I can’t take back
The years gone by, remorseful stack
No one to blame, neither you nor I
Just time ticks on and then we die

How could I thought, you’d never know
It was not you who carried the blow
But it was me in shame, castrated
The depths of misery so fated

I cried and cried myself to sleep
The promise of a man to keep
Squirreled away in bitter regret
The test of time would heal, and yet

That God would show the path beyond
The righteous path, I wasn’t on
The path to you and all desires
The path that burns with raging fire

This man of glass derailed and frail
My loving God, lift up the veil
This veil of shame I carried long
To loving arms, where I belong

To you my love, I humbly come
To ask forgiveness, not play it dumb 
To sacrifice all that I’ve got 
To give you that you always sought

A love sublime, no measure written
This passion burns, what God has given
This half a man has been made whole
To give you back that thing I stole

With no regret, I press us forward 
In God I trust to move us toward 
From darkened skies to path of light
What future holds, our destiny bright

In humbled heart this man you see
This broken man seeks victory 
To bathe you in His love so true
Whom do you see, whom do you view

I thank you for your love so blind 
I thank you that you didn’t unwind
I thank you for your heart of gold
What God gave me, what He foretold

You could accept this broken man
With all his faults, this garbage can
You see this broken man is me
With all my faults, you let me be

And Godly grace, so blessed, bestowed 
No recompense, not ever owed
Upon my gaze, my treasured bride
One whom to love, in whom confide

I give her all I have to give 
The moments with, I live to live
I’m grateful, she, with all she’s got
To love this broken man of rot

Original

So, what the hell you waiting for
This one’s a tramp, this one’s a whore
Pass the buzz, I want to feed
Getting high, I feel the need

And what’s this gossip, who did what
She said what, go on, shut up
So, this goon, she bedding with
Here’s a joint, take some of this

He’s a jock, he’s got no class 
He can choke and kiss my ....
I’m so tired, leave me alone
Gonna puke, please take me home

Yeah, tomorrow, getting late
With that jock, I’ve gotta date
I’ll go easy, make him beg
In the mornin, bacon, eggs

I don’t care, what else you got
Then, take off then and thanks a lot
Tattoo parlors, skull and bones
Got no home, I’m all alone

Collecting checks for food and stamps
Got my pain, yeah, got the cramps
I don’t care what you believe
You like my nails, you think of me

Like the woman at the well
She’s not saved, she’s going to Hell
Let’s take a closer look and see
Is it her, or is it me

The begining, called the fall
Yeah, from then, affected all
Bankers, lawyers, doctors too
Don’t forget, that’s also you

Yes, we all judge, we take offense
Christians, church, in our defense
But, ‘twas Christ who paid the price
Tell me then, your sacrifice

You don’t curse, but you don’t listen
Like the Pharisees, forgiven
But I’ll tell you what you’ve got
Sin, in case you all forgot

Take idolatry and pride
And all the sins that you can hide
Give them to the One who gave
Stop your ranting and your raves

Be it humble in your verse
Judging people makes it worse
No one’s holy, not a one
Give your love to everyone

Lessons From Lucas

Precise observations, from God up above
In gentle, kind sacrifice, in showing true love
The call from the city, come hither, he’s sick
The desperate anguish, decision, come quick

But I am an elder, it’s Easter, you see
I can’t come to help you, the father decreed
With snivels and tears, she said do what you must
As I hung up the phone, I lost wisdom and trust 

Just then I heard silence, the world came to pause
The Voice in my head said, bear fruit, that’s your cause
Returning the phone call, I’m on my way now 
No idolatry, pride then, He wouldn’t allow

As I came to her home, as she pleaded for time
The tears of despair in her voice I did find
It wasn’t alright, see, it wasn’t a hoax
As the carrier was placed in the car, I did choke

And off to the hospital, directions in play
A cry from the feline in tragic display
Then just as we pulled into that parking lot
The cries and the screams, I thought I’d been shot 

She flew out of the car as she rushed to the door 
My mind was in panic, my heart on the floor
To see my dear daughter in pain on her knees
There, Lucas laid lifeless, despite all her pleas 

‘‘Twas then that I saw them, in horror and grief
The clients with their pets in stark disbelief 
And then we were ushered, inside in a small room 
The air was so still then, in tatters and gloom

Yet, I saw her give love then, with petting and tears
I couldn’t just fix this, allay all her fears
The lessons were taught so I could humbly respond
Take care of your daughter, is where you belong 

I never imagined the pain and the hurt
No memories faded, I will ever assert
I thank my dear Lord, what He taught me that day
It’s what you would do, dad, not what you would say

To comfort, to love, be quiet and listen
To represent Jesus, that’s what you’d been missin
It’s not about church, a building, a song
But show that you care, that’s where you are strong

Then I finally got it, the look on her face
Thanks dad for helping, a daughter’s embrace
With sobs she said goodbyes, went back to her lair
I sat in my car thinking, as I lay bare

What God was there showing me on Easter Sunday 
The lessons of Lucas, to ponder, to weigh
That love is the answer to all those in need
It’s not in the head but the heart that you feed

Black Lives Matter

Black lives matter, thanks for your concern
For 400 years, from birth to the urn
Equality was written, not something to be earned
Pretending to be black, is something to be spurned

If pity be the party, then go play somewhere else
Historically the lynching, the insults and the belts
Humiliation, beatings, the begging and the welts
Catch the flag of Liberty before the Statue melts

Opportunity divided with the color of your skin
The government claimed equality with promise and a grin
Then segregation followed, to cast the vote and win
The sacrifice, not victory, downtrodden and chagrined

No path to education, they’ll never get a choice
The leaders that had anger, yet peace was in their voice
All hopes and dreams were shattered, one shot, some heard, rejoiced
The statue built in effigy, remarks were so adroit

Be careful how your greeted, yeah, walk across the street
The fear, innate, inside of you, with handshakes as you meet
Despite the fame and money, climb the ladder in defeat
“I’m just a different color,” not a human to be beat

And all the inside politics on both sides of the aisle
Cast your vote, we’ll help you, disdaining all the while
Surely you are innocent, but still you’ll be on trial
You’re black, you must be guilty, appeals we’ll surely file

There is no common decency, democracy turned its back
Four years after four more, the country ‘bout to crack 
The pundits, white, and liberal, prepare the same attack
While right-wing and their media, just couldn’t give a jack

It can’t be true, who says, politically correct
They’re African American, take pause and genuflect 
That’s not what they are saying, take time and please reflect
They just want to be heard, be proud, and stand erect

One would say, “just a movement,” it’s all lives that do matter
It’s here we live, the USA, their lives, war torn and shattered
Reparations, not suffice, while children grow in tatters
So listen what is being said, be fair, is what they’re after

And after all the murders in the hope of future days
With faith in God’s forbearance, that love will pave the way
That justice will be satisfied and one day, truly say
That black lives really mattered, was not a game to play