I almost didn’t notice him as I knocked and entered the room. He was lying in bed, sleeping. It was dark in the room and with his complexion, I could have missed him if it wasn’t for his size and the fact that he was my patient. I thought he wouldn’t understand English as he seemed Latino enough, although that might, on the surface, sound truly racist and prejudicial, I did have twenty-four years of marriage with a Latina and had been to Mexico and Central America more times than you could count (oh, by the way, I was born in Costa Rica). At any rate, he spoke perfect English. I asked him why he was there and he told me he had passed out and felt dizzy. Fair enough. I took him at his word and examined him. Afterwards, I told him I would be running some tests and more than likely, he’d be leaving by the afternoon. He was good with that as he wanted to be home for Christmas and his son was having a birthday on the 23rd. Great. It was all good.
I made some further “rounds” on other patients and got back to my “cubby hole” to dictate my notes. Of course, one of them was my tattooed friend upstairs. Yes, I forgot to mention that he was “tatted” from head to toe and we shared tattoo stories of crosses and such (I have many). On closer observation of his laboratory studies, there was a toxicology report: cocaine! Now, this may have never happened to you before but, whenever I see problems with addiction in a patient, the Holy Spirit literally grabs me by my scrub top and drags me back into the room. Off I went. I knocked again. He was very polite and surprisingly nonchalant about me coming back, almost as if I was coming back to release him from this “prison” hospital he was in. No, that was not the case. He had no clue what I was about to do which I had done hundreds of times before.
“May I ask you a personal question,” I inquired? Yes, he said, inquisitively. And then, the Holy Spirit overtook me, as He had done so many times before. I told him I wasn’t here to judge him. I was here to love him. I was there to take off his shoes and wash his feet as Christ had done before in an act of unspeakable humility. I told him I had done ALL of the things he had done before and much more. See, he and I were not different. All of us have some sort of addiction, one way or another. I wanted him to relax and let his guard down so that he could hear what God was saying to him through my words. I asked him to promise me that he wouldn’t do drugs or drink alcohol anymore. I told him that he was here for a purpose. God had plans for him. I told him: “God loves you more than anyone or anybody that ever loved you, including yourself. And, you can’t serve two masters; Its God or the world.” I told him he was important to God and that he could reach people I couldn’t reach and that I could reach people he couldn’t reach. That was the fellowship bond that we shared in common with Christ. I told him we were brothers in Christ and that fellowship was important to God. He looked at me and stared. I could see tears welling up in his eyes as he brushed them back. He promised he would never do drugs or alcohol again. Ordinarily, I would have hugged him but in these times of COVID-19, I didn’t want to expose him to what I had had.
See, it doesn’t matter how rough and tough one thinks they are. I’ve seen it so many times from all shapes and sizes, all colors, all genders. It doesn’t matter. People are people. They have the image of God imprinted in their souls. They may refuse Him but He never refuses them! That’s why I can approach anyone, no matter who they are, as long as it’s not me that’s doing the approaching, but God using me as a vessel. Then, they don’t see me. They see Him. They see love. Perhaps, they’ve never seen that kind of love. God’s love is different. He doesn’t place conditions. His love is infinite. His love is without need. His love is real. It’s important to pay attention. Sometimes, one has to listen first. Hey, that’s why the two ears and one mouth, right? Jesus said: “It’s not what goes into a man’s mouth that defiles him, but what comes out.” I think that means your heart tells the real story about how you really feel about someone. Paying attention maybe the way in, but that’s not the final act. What’s really important is in the demonstration, the action; what you do next that matters. See, words are just that, words. Actions are different. Actions show people where you heart is and that, is love. When you sacrifice what you have without expecting anything in return, that’s godly.
Today was a great day. Today, I got to spend time with God. Today, I showed up. God’s always there, waiting for us to show. Most of the time we don’t. Sometimes, I think that breaks God’s heart. I mean, I’m a father. When my kids don’t talk to me, I get sad. I can’t even imagine how God must feel. He made us. He loves us. He gave up His Son to condescend to be human, get butchered and mutilated, then be nailed to a cross and die for us so that we could be reconciled to the Father and thus be with him forever. I guess the absolute very least I could do is maybe give God a little bit of my time. See, having a relationship with God is like having a relationship with your absolute very best friend you’ve ever had. But, if you only talk to him/her every blue moon, what kind of a relationship is that. Now, don’t get me wrong, here. God doesn’t need us. He doesn’t need anything. It’s better than that. It’s infinitely better: He wants us. He pursues us. He never changes, ever. So, next time you’re on the run and want to do the whole “in and out” thing with a person because you’re in a hurry to get to the next person, take pause and, pay attention. God does.