Capacity
Love God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and all of your strength. The heart is deceitful above all else, so it has been said in Scripture. Desire for the “flesh” has always been the downfall of most, if not all. Desire does not need to be erotic for that would be too simplistic. It’s our innate desire which bends the heart on itself, turning away from God to our own concupiscence. One could understand what it means to love God with all your heart, yet we don’t. The soul, or your immaterial essence has been thought of philosophically, epistemologically, and theologically for many generations. Suffices to say that your soul or spirit is that part of you which “lives on” after your physical death. Sure, one could love God with all of your soul, but we don’t. As far as the mind is concerned, this entity is distinguishable from the tangible, physical brain. Your thoughts, reason, and such are not necessarily intertwined by neurons alone. So, again, makes reasoned sense that one could love God with all of one’s mind, but we don’t. Lastly, comes the very point of contention: strength. Loving God with all of your strength was, at the very least, quite ambiguous to me. Was it my physical strength? If so, how could one love God with all one’s strength if one had cerebral palsy, for example. There had to be some other more appropriate definition that would suffice. Strength might come in the form of perseverance. Love God to the very end and reward would come your way. Yet, that felt like a works-based project, as if God needed any assistance from us in making any decisions. It just didn’t seem plausible. Strength had to be defined and then interpreted. Might it be impregnable? The thought occurred as if there might be a shield of armor by which all evil would be deterred and strength would carry on, but that seemed a bit obtuse.
I think strength means capacity. Capacity is the maximum amount that something can contain. We are limited beings and God asks that we love Him with the maximum amount of love that can be contained in us. What I didn’t realize until this past year, while I was going through a tough period of physical and mental suffering, was that I was then able to understand that strength was the capacity to love God. It took great periods of anxiety, fear, and doubt to place my full capacity on the only One who could see me through the anguish of many months. I clung to God, as if the only hope left in me was in Him. He saved me from myself. It was then I realized that capacity is not limiting to God. He has infinite capacity and He discloses or presents you with more capacity as you place your complete trust and love in Him. He gave me more capacity to love Him! This was revelation for me. Yes, I was limited by my capacity, but not limited by His ability to give me more capacity to glorify Him. This brought my understanding of my relationship with God to another, more personal, level. Since God has limitless capacity and since He wants to share this with His adopted children, the intimacy of relationship transcends joy. The capacity is forged in many ways. For example, this focus is not necessarily on the blessings of God, but on God, Himself. One learns to love the Master and not what “He has on the table.” This capacity of Who to love and not why we love Him has exponentially expanded my love for God. Through no boast of my own, God has shown me how to love Him in a much deeper way by increasing my capacity to love Him more.
I think there are seasons. Sometimes, one clings to the mundane and spurts through life without thoughtful purpose. The purpose is worldly and directed without substantive reflection. We engross ourselves in the problems of tomorrow without thinking about our relationship with our Creator. We are lost in a sea of ambiguity where we are tossed, here and there, waiting miraculously for some marginal outcome. It is quite worrisome. Joy is missing. We capitulate. We settle. We climb the “hill” only to fall flat on our faces again. Why? Because, we are stuck in the cave where we can’t see two feet in front of us. This is all we have. This is where we’ve come to. Garbage in, garbage out. This is not new. Plato reflected on this mirage thousands of years ago. But then, glory! We are reminded that we are not alone. Per Pascal, there is something greater. And, it’s God who illuminates our minds, our hearts, our souls, and our capacity. Without His divulgence of a deeper understanding of who He is, we could never get there with our own capacity. It’s just too limited. The relationship unfolds and is manifested in joy for the One who loves us more than we could ever possibly love ourselves. Once felt, this joy overwhelms to the point of hysteria and exhilaration. One could not compare it to any other human experience. The more we seek To glorify Him the more our capacity is increased to feel His love for us. It’s incredible that by glorifying Him more, we are able to feel more joy, more love, and more understanding of Him. Love God with all of your capacity and He will give you more as you truly worship Him.